338 Comments

Rule 9: Don’t get fooled by them and put your dinger in it. We’ve all seen the movies Species and Splice. They may be sexy AF, but never, ever put your dinger in. Not even the tip.

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I can’t stop laughing

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They could be Venusians.

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Oh Man, if they’re Venusian Babes, and they hit me with those bloody Pheromone Bombs Again, I am Just So Screwed again. ☹️🤔 I Came so close to marrying one, I had a really lucky escape. So don’t get within six feet of them or it’s Game Over. Even further away if they’re upwind of you.

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I'm like that with Spanish women. I know the maxim, and they're all crazy. I did marry one.

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Imagine having their children . . . 🤔

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Could be Zelensky - oh, not. Too short.

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If you shag an alien, does it count as adultery? 😁👽

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No, it's not adultery, it's zenophilia.

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Not if you have to figger out how to do it. If you have to figger out how to do it, it is an intellectual experiment and you may proceed without being smited.

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Fuck it, I'd take one for the team 🤭

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Only if they were created in Gods image.

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maybe those who havent had a dinger for many years might like to judge the lineup first!

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Let him with ears to hear, hear. Let him without a dinger cast the first alien.

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Alien Casting ? Is that like those Dwarf Throwing Contests they have in Australia ? Obviously asking for a friend. 🤔

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Probably so. I don't know how far one can throw a dwarf, but if you don't have a dinger, gotta do something with him.

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Omg your so right!!! Wtf have they done to the male population ffs lol

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What's a dinger?

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I've never heard of a dinger either, but from context it seemed likely it was a tallywhacker.

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🙄 You serious? "Johnson"? "Wang" "Junk" ...

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A dinger is one's willy, one's po-po, the family jewels, bollocks, balls, one's dingaling. Isn't it strange that there are no where near the same number for womens' nether parts. Only 2 slangs that I know, one's warm and fuzzy and the other is a real hard cuss word. We should make up some more....

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Jun 10, 2023·edited Jun 10, 2023

Flower, hoo hoo, vajay jay. snatch, carpet, and a few more but too nasty to mention.

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Hoo hoo is a fave.

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cojones

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males parts.

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Vending Machine.

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Dangly bits

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Let them have the trannies...they can experiment on as many as they want since they seem to be so eager to cut off their dingers... problem solved. I'm sure many wont make it through the process...

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Wang? Junk? Nope, not getting it at all. Some kind of asian currency?

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laughing so hard it hurts

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Your boy-equipment... the dangly bits you keep in your shorts most of the time. Sheesh!

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Jun 10, 2023·edited Jun 10, 2023

Your twig and berries.

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ok, that's pretty funny.

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I use the word Dinger all the time. Your comment is the best I’ve ever seen!

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Kill 'em with spike!

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Specie splice too mutch!!!

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Oh they'll get a tip alright...shoot em in the face...twice.

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Oh lighten up.

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He has it all wrong. You do not stick your dinger in it. Aliens have sex by touching their index finger to the other alien's index finger. Now that is not nasty unless they have warts, or some other kind of bumpy looking nodules. Either way, it is now confirmed to be Rule #9. Just to be safe though, wear a glove.

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Oh for pete's sake, get a sense of humor. Fudge is no more nasty than you and he's funny.

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You mad bro

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OMG clif ! You Are A True Fantastic Piece of Fine Work. That is hilarious !

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See what a high level intellectual discourse Clif sparked above? If he says anything tell him he started it.

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And we NEED this in our lives. I used to laugh a lot. WTF happened to us? Dr. Steve Turley reports today as he visits Japan that people there are laughing at Biden, the whole world is having a great joke. I'd be laughing too if I weren't having to live under his BS. Keep 'em coming, Clif!

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This is So True, and Very Creative! Thank you Uncle Clif !

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All of his work is HIGHly comedic.

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Brilliant. Especially, "don't keep all your alien in one basket" 😁

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Funny ! Thanks Clif !

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Thanks human!! We know mama is always right!! Lets go alien hunters …

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Wait! What? I could have sworn FJB declared that offing an alien was punishable by death. If not I'm sure they can find a DA and judge in SDNY courts to make it happen. Probably best to keep quiet if you happen to off an ET.

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Jun 10, 2023·edited Jun 10, 2023

Only if the alien is a Democrat.

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Is there any other kind?

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Yes, unfortunately. Party politics is fake, theater, pretense. They're all as bad as each other :(

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Yep, kabuki....a lot of signalling only understood by the connoisseur, facial dramatics and eye cutting, all played to screeching music and bizarre vocalizations.

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That's what I'm thinking too!

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There are a few in NYC!

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What do I do if it’s a hologram...or an actor in an alien costume...who knows anything these days...

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Jun 9, 2023·edited Jun 9, 2023

Yes-s I'm expecting them (humans on the ground with holo toys) to pull the hologram thing-y on us. Oh no-o Henry look it's a reptilian !!! oh look, it shapeshifting into a man wearing a dress.

you know what I mean.

🤣🤣🤣

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Ummm... these days they call it 'transitioning...'

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Shoot, then ask, "are you an actor in an alien costume?"

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Especially if they wear rainbow colors.

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what happens when there is a rainbow in the sky ?

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Follow Rule Three and upload to YouTube?

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"an actor in an alien costume" - simply equates to Death By Misadventure.

Darwin Award time, lol

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Walk right through a projected image of one.

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Sounds like Clif got into some fine alien ganja. 😝

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You forgot the 8th Clif! Make sure the alien doesn't have friends that follow you home...better yet drop your weapon- the Predator only killed hunters who were armed.

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He covered that in 7.

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He has a Mac 10. I may be interpreting, but if I had a Mac 10 I'd be throwing caution to the wind just to have some arguably legitimate reason to use it.

This is why women live longer than men.

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I’ve shot them, a full auto by brother had. It was fun but partner one can send more than enough rounds way more accurately with a standard AR-15 just one at a time,

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I have no doubt, but the fun! According to the latest intel the aliens are 10 feet tall so it's just gonna piss him off anyway.

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Copper solid copper bullets from a .50 cal is best but I’m to old for that but I think I can run my AR-10 just fine. Apparently copper messes up fallon angle blood lines. Bracelets can put them in a sort of stasis that binds them. The ones discovered in the Grand Canyon were described as 9 footers but in sarcophagus and having a copper nap so to speak.

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Oh and they may still be right there because a normal person’s brain just couldn’t handle the pressure once you got past a line the scientist painted, no kidding it’s like a great movie and I think real history.

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I have about 100` of solid copper wire a little thicker than fence wire. Maybe Universe put it where I could find it so that I can tie up aliens?

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Ah...sorry I missed it. Thanks Inferno!

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Ha! Roman! Would it be worthwhile to ground my new steel roof?

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Can't hurt! Do you know how to do it? I don't.

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I have about 100' of thick solid copper (5 AWG?)wire that apparently can be used to tie up aliens, but I could put an iron stake in the ground and a terminal on the roof.

I found this wire in a house trailer way back in the woods that has been there for at least 50 years. I took out a 16 book series on the history of war published 1914. There was a capsule of demerol, German texts on a lot of things. My German is limited to counting and swearing. Stacks of medical journals on Radiology and Oncology. A ton of completely ruined books. I also took out a couple graduated cylinders and some test tubes.

It's a mystery.

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Odds are that wire is either AWG 4 or AWG 6. Both are commonly used for grounding wires. Even gauges are far more common, though you can probably find AWG 5 if you look hard enough. You might have to buy 1000 pounds of it to get someone to run it for you though.

Either #4 or #6 should work for aliens.

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Only when patina'd!

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Yes, maybe Clif should have discussed the wisdom or otherwise of shooting aliens before moving on to Rule 1?!

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It's probably the same actor, too!

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I saw Signs... maybe we could just fling water on them. 💋

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Or spray them with windex…its useful for much more than cleaning windows.

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Use wasp spray. You can shoot without getting close.

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It would not be the time to experiment with such an unstable substance always use very loud Slim Whitman music!

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Rick rolling aliens.... I like it. ❤️

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You people ain't right!

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😂🤣😂😅🤣😂

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I am laughing rather hard right now. Thank you Clif for some very dark, twisted humor. It made my afternoon. The comment about the "dinger" had me laughing harder.

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It's not at all funny if it had been your dinger during the incomplete delivery (baby, umbilical chord, extraembryonic+dick end) in the hospital!

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If you have a big back yard,you can dig a nice deep hole ahead of time & cover it with some OSB. Then go to the garden supply for a 5O pound sack of barn lime. It is really cheap & works great! This speeds up decomposition and reduces odors. If the aliens are of insect origin you can mix boric acid with sugar as a special treat. If it is more like a mammal feed it something yummy topped with anti freeze. Be creative

Invest in a couple of aluminum baseball bats & a box of flares if you don"t own a six shooter. Maybe get a big box of gummies with a high THC content to share if they seem friendly. Do not ask me how I know about using lime.

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How do you know about using lime?

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Already have a nice big hole dug. Not kidding. We don't dial the PTB. We're way out in the country. By the time they get here, for shit going bad, we'd be dead already. Neighbors have big deep holes too. 😜

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Rural life inspires practicality. Whatever happens, keep breathing!

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You never know when you're going to need a nice deep hole in a pinch!

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That is correct as usual never call the police as they will consider you enemy combatant!

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Exactly.

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I won't. Just figured you have milk cows, or maybe a doggy doo pit, or a yard full of gophers (I've heard it works for pushing them out to other areas)

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Hilarious Clif. Make sure you film that and go big.

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Variation of S3. Shoot, shovel, shut up. Invented for endangered species like cute spotted owls.

Make Polite Greetings: "Get off my lawn. Space pervert."

Space alien:"Klaatu barrada nikto"

Empty clip into its scaly head.

Dig hole.

Shut up.

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Interesting. I assume space aliens have been around the planet here since the beginning (4.5 Billion years or God knows, maybe the concept of linear time and years do not even apply here). My preference is to leave the space aliens alone unless they are fucking with me. They have had a long time to vaporize me if they wanted to and why now? We will see what our collective experience is in the next year or so. I am going to bet pretty much the same as the last 4.5 Billion (years, millennia, eons, Yugas - you choose the metric).

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Truly. Hawaiians have quietly held a annual event for hundreds of years (they colonized Hawai'i less than a thousand years ago) that includes a salute to other beings that has traditionally been reciprocated by a flyover observed as a light at significant elevation that splits and re-unites in response. The feeling generated is mutual respect and cordiality. It is healthy to acknowledge our fear, laugh it up if possible and then to get over it.

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That sounds very cool - tell us more. What's the event named?

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I took this as another example of Clif's unique sense of humor. I don't disagree with your comment at all, though. Feel pretty much the same about this current control grab psyop.

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Yes - I love Cliff's sense of humor. I started purchasing his ALTA reports over a decade ago, and I have followed him ever since. He has gone through his own journey - for example, from vegan/vegetarian to carnivore (I never agreed with his vegetarian stand years ago, but Cliff as all great men, see the error of their ways and course correct). I am happy to be able to access his work.

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At least since Slim Whitman music was sold!

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Well. Drinks will definitely be off the table after that.

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I say a dance party sounds more fun to me!!!

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Only with very loud Slim Whitman music!

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I'm not familiar or know the joke.

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