Farts are good offensive weapons against almost anything. I recommend them for dispersing a boring gathering and disabling small children and some adults with laugh fits. I've not experimented with aliens, although I have blasted a few pets. (Take note though, ladies don't fart, they toot.) There there was even a pharaoh who incorporated the skill into his name....Tootin'amum and his former name Tootin'aten.
Not being a farmer, never experienced goat farts. For God's sake (or any other entity), don't tell Gates! He'll have them vaxed and add them to the demise of cows!
There's a big dairy concern over here and they get milk from farms all over the country. Their cows with the gleeful rubbing of hands by our government, supermarkets and Billy Goats are going to feed a toxic mix to the cows (farmers must comply) so that the cows . . . stop farting! I kid ye not!
I saw that. It's egregious. Stupid. From cow farts to constitutions. You need a William Wallace about now. What if no one complies? What would that take? How big and how many jails do you have? When does a people decide enough is enough? Another reason you NEVER give up your guns.
Luckily we have a dairy that produces raw klim so I tried it the other week - it was indeed delicious and for the first time I did not have to spend all night sitting on the loo and then for odd hours the day after until my innards recover - which is what happens when I drink the current stuff.
You have lead with a very important idea, that electronic routing of communications is nearly instant. So why, when I pay bills online through my financial institution, does it always take some DAYS before my payment is received by the payee? The money has definitely left my account on that very instant. The financial institution has now a few days to lend that same amount (and up to a minimum 10 times more) at interest to other suckers! So when you actually project the interest calculations and the mathematics, your $300 utility payment is making thousands for your financial institution that the suckers will pay from actual blood, sweat and tears.
Now, if either you or I did the same by writing and delivering cheque when you know there is no consideration backing that cheque, we are committing criminal fraud. Yet for the financial institutions, it's a typical Friday at 4pm profit point!
Back in the old days of Traveler's Cheques, American Express ran ads telling people to tuck their left over cheques into a drawer when they got back from vacation and save them for a rainy day. No telling how much money they made on that globally.
Beats listening to Auntie Karen losing it over Trump's victory. In that case a well delivered personal gas bomb may disperse the situation better than affecting the complexity of time.
Don't waste an opportunity....weaponize the dog! Turn him backwards and play him like a bag pipe..pump him hard with your elbow. You can even put your hand in your armpit, 6th grade style for added dimension. He might even play Danny Boy.
Love the photograph and analogy. And REALLY appreciate how you explained the EPN and its complexity. It made sense to me and was useful in contemplating how I might prefer to live and use my 'time.'
Clif, you are someone to be grateful for tomorrow as we scroll through who and what we are grateful for. You will be on my list. We are all in this together and I value the comments and camaraderie of all you sharing .
A day without Clif is like drinking a cup of coffee ☕️ and realizing your wife farted at the check out stand and you have to make everyone think it was you so she doesn't get embarrassed. Problem is it was a feminine sounding fart . Damn. AHHHHHHH!
I say the EPN is too simple for most to grasp. Try to keep just one thought. Keep it, keep it, oh where did it go? Now it's changed and changed... This is our shared complexity. If one can keep one faithful thought and move mountains with it what could a couple do? A family? A village? If all thoughts were beautiful and joy filled then what?
Then chaos. You can't get three people to agree on the time for dinner! Why would you expect anything more complex?!! Less so, the more people involved.
Clif…. We haven’t met in this lifetime but perhaps a different one. Can’t say former as it is not linear? But I’ve been following you for many years with Bix.
Can dogs detect Brain farts too! LOL
As I see it, CHANGE is the one thing we can be certain of and TIME is the rate of change ? All is always in motion . An ATOM is a truth of motion at a given frequency? And maybe the Universe is a giant DVD of stories we live out in Time? Hence some RVers can read ahead on the time track? Dunno, just guessing. And if we have free will, we are creating the track?
Perhaps GOD is a super cell of all possibilities? All changing and becoming something else?
Its mind imagines and creates ?
Everything we are or have begins with an idea , right? A plan? So if prayer works, it is the power we inject into the plan? What we think, we become?
I remember going to a Dodger game, the group took along around 10 poor black kids as a charitable act... one of the semi-drunk Kiwanis guys said "who farted"??
And one of the black kids, wearing a red derby responded: "Yo Momma Deed!"
IMO: Race relations have only gone downhill from there. ;-)
When I taught second grade in a primarily Black school, I saw kids jumping rope to this chant..."I saw yo momma in a tree, gettin' booty with Mister T. " True story.
So basically, farts can be used as a weapon against space aliens? Got it!
Farts are good offensive weapons against almost anything. I recommend them for dispersing a boring gathering and disabling small children and some adults with laugh fits. I've not experimented with aliens, although I have blasted a few pets. (Take note though, ladies don't fart, they toot.) There there was even a pharaoh who incorporated the skill into his name....Tootin'amum and his former name Tootin'aten.
Brilliant deductions! And in the best Southern traditions of good manners! There's nothing akin to out-tooting dog flatulence! Kudos!
I do like to have pleasing etiquette.
lmao.
I see what you did there XD
lol ,idiot
. . . But it would not have lifted off the ground.
Eat a more hydrogen rich diet, and something that binds oxygen in hydrogen dioxide and you may get your Hindenburg event. "Oh, the huge manatee!"
boasting again
depends on the kind of space Alien
- human like oxygen breather may run away
- non human like in their space suits may use their laser gun and burn the fartest to ashes
Got it ???
Don't discard the fart ashes, they're good for your petunias.
And tomatoes.
Which refers to my original premise: we need a disguise against detection. See above. LOL
LOL!
Especially space goat farts. Remember them?
Not being a farmer, never experienced goat farts. For God's sake (or any other entity), don't tell Gates! He'll have them vaxed and add them to the demise of cows!
There's a big dairy concern over here and they get milk from farms all over the country. Their cows with the gleeful rubbing of hands by our government, supermarkets and Billy Goats are going to feed a toxic mix to the cows (farmers must comply) so that the cows . . . stop farting! I kid ye not!
I saw that. It's egregious. Stupid. From cow farts to constitutions. You need a William Wallace about now. What if no one complies? What would that take? How big and how many jails do you have? When does a people decide enough is enough? Another reason you NEVER give up your guns.
Luckily we have a dairy that produces raw klim so I tried it the other week - it was indeed delicious and for the first time I did not have to spend all night sitting on the loo and then for odd hours the day after until my innards recover - which is what happens when I drink the current stuff.
oh yea! Those stinky space goats! LMAO!
You have lead with a very important idea, that electronic routing of communications is nearly instant. So why, when I pay bills online through my financial institution, does it always take some DAYS before my payment is received by the payee? The money has definitely left my account on that very instant. The financial institution has now a few days to lend that same amount (and up to a minimum 10 times more) at interest to other suckers! So when you actually project the interest calculations and the mathematics, your $300 utility payment is making thousands for your financial institution that the suckers will pay from actual blood, sweat and tears.
Now, if either you or I did the same by writing and delivering cheque when you know there is no consideration backing that cheque, we are committing criminal fraud. Yet for the financial institutions, it's a typical Friday at 4pm profit point!
Bingo!!
Ever present fuckery as Clif says
Like when the payroll company takes the money now but does not actually pay the employees for a couple of days
Back in the old days of Traveler's Cheques, American Express ran ads telling people to tuck their left over cheques into a drawer when they got back from vacation and save them for a rainy day. No telling how much money they made on that globally.
Yip. It's ok to kill as long as your killing for them, it's ok to lie as long as your a policeman, the list goes on and on.
Pertinent point. God knows, everything else debits my account instantly! Verizon is bad about that. Irritating little farts.
I'm not sure anyone gathered around the dinner table tomorrow will give thanks when I affect the complexity of time, but we'll see.
Beats listening to Auntie Karen losing it over Trump's victory. In that case a well delivered personal gas bomb may disperse the situation better than affecting the complexity of time.
It will be measured in how well farts clear the room later on. Vodka is a good remedy for that. They may not appreciate it, but you won't care. LOL
In my experience, the culprit always tries to blame the dog.
My dog gives herself away cause she acts startled or surprised. Even more denial and misdirection. "Who farted out of my butt?"
As I have 7 dogs (don't ask), they look at each other instead of me. I remain pristinely blameless.
Don't waste an opportunity....weaponize the dog! Turn him backwards and play him like a bag pipe..pump him hard with your elbow. You can even put your hand in your armpit, 6th grade style for added dimension. He might even play Danny Boy.
Love the photograph and analogy. And REALLY appreciate how you explained the EPN and its complexity. It made sense to me and was useful in contemplating how I might prefer to live and use my 'time.'
Clif, you are someone to be grateful for tomorrow as we scroll through who and what we are grateful for. You will be on my list. We are all in this together and I value the comments and camaraderie of all you sharing .
I better start pounding the broccoli and beans!!!
Breakfast pizza 🍕 does it for me.
If the toxicity is fairly rank, you might check your gluten tolerance, and eliminate it.
;- )
Or not. I rely on beans. Although, God help us, not green beans.
LOL!
What a horrible idea!
No, I've never been to an exorcism. Sounds terrifying.
Are you saying we should learn to fart at will & aim at the aliens? I think my husband can do that now.
Ever wonder why they call us Old Farts?
You've just got to learn to aim him properly at alien interlopers.
I'm all cued up for the VOMIT FEST coming.
Careful with the force. Danger of sharting.
Learning to projectile vomit might be better.
I save the shitting pants card for when I want to get out of some situation. Sorry, gotta go! I just shit my britches!
Never gets old. 😉😉
LOL!!!
A day without Clif is like drinking a cup of coffee ☕️ and realizing your wife farted at the check out stand and you have to make everyone think it was you so she doesn't get embarrassed. Problem is it was a feminine sounding fart . Damn. AHHHHHHH!
A time when you wish you weren't in the EPN.
Ripper!
Tooting, my dear. Women toot. See above.
Is that a tenor fart?
Oh, I prefer a good "base line" resonance. Depth and resonance, don't you know.
The Swedish saying is "The first one to smell the fart is its father!"
I enjoyed sniffing through this elegant trail of honourably scaped wise words..
Broad wide scapes..
I honourstand them..
Bahahaha
In Sweden, do they come out in bubble shapes that freeze in the air? I think I saw that on a youtube video one time.
With popping sounds to announce their existence when they hit hot air.
Eat beans; stay safe.
I say the EPN is too simple for most to grasp. Try to keep just one thought. Keep it, keep it, oh where did it go? Now it's changed and changed... This is our shared complexity. If one can keep one faithful thought and move mountains with it what could a couple do? A family? A village? If all thoughts were beautiful and joy filled then what?
Someone would fart and spoil it.
Then chaos. You can't get three people to agree on the time for dinner! Why would you expect anything more complex?!! Less so, the more people involved.
As "famous" turns more and more to INFAMOUS. Good fuckin times.
Clif…. We haven’t met in this lifetime but perhaps a different one. Can’t say former as it is not linear? But I’ve been following you for many years with Bix.
Can dogs detect Brain farts too! LOL
As I see it, CHANGE is the one thing we can be certain of and TIME is the rate of change ? All is always in motion . An ATOM is a truth of motion at a given frequency? And maybe the Universe is a giant DVD of stories we live out in Time? Hence some RVers can read ahead on the time track? Dunno, just guessing. And if we have free will, we are creating the track?
Perhaps GOD is a super cell of all possibilities? All changing and becoming something else?
Its mind imagines and creates ?
Everything we are or have begins with an idea , right? A plan? So if prayer works, it is the power we inject into the plan? What we think, we become?
Let’s pray for peace and a better future!
I remember going to a Dodger game, the group took along around 10 poor black kids as a charitable act... one of the semi-drunk Kiwanis guys said "who farted"??
And one of the black kids, wearing a red derby responded: "Yo Momma Deed!"
IMO: Race relations have only gone downhill from there. ;-)
When I taught second grade in a primarily Black school, I saw kids jumping rope to this chant..."I saw yo momma in a tree, gettin' booty with Mister T. " True story.
To me time is an imaginary thread on which to hang events. I try not to complicate matters.
Fuck Substack and all the rest! I just discovered SAXSQUATCH on YouTube! Fucking AMAZING! My spirit animal!
thanks I found Saxsquatch on youtube. Wow!